Going back to Islamabad tonight. Not easy, i must say. Probably that's something I have said on the blog a tons of times. But oh well, when has it been easy anyway? I had extremely horrifying times a couple of days back. Broke me into pieces. And today, as I write this, my mind is only thinking one thing; What is the purpose of my life? Why am I here? Who am I?
Every single day, it seems like I am fighting somebody else's fight. I am fearing someone else's fears. I am living someone else's life. I am not me. This is not me. Then who is, is the question!
All of this must seem pretty crazy and emo to read. But to be very honest, I don't have a clue what to pray for, what to aim for. Wishes, dreams, beliefs, everything seems to have vanished somewhere.
I am questioning the biggest thing of my life; why am I here? Is it my own fault? Or can I blame somebody else? This gap inside of me, why does it exist? How can I fulfill it?
I feel empty, lost... and scared! But starting over, yet again, for the last time and trying to find the purpose, once and for all. Not giving up, not falling down... just looking for the answer to one simple question;
WHO AM I?
- Maryam!
Every single day, it seems like I am fighting somebody else's fight. I am fearing someone else's fears. I am living someone else's life. I am not me. This is not me. Then who is, is the question!
All of this must seem pretty crazy and emo to read. But to be very honest, I don't have a clue what to pray for, what to aim for. Wishes, dreams, beliefs, everything seems to have vanished somewhere.
I am questioning the biggest thing of my life; why am I here? Is it my own fault? Or can I blame somebody else? This gap inside of me, why does it exist? How can I fulfill it?
I feel empty, lost... and scared! But starting over, yet again, for the last time and trying to find the purpose, once and for all. Not giving up, not falling down... just looking for the answer to one simple question;
WHO AM I?
- Maryam!
