... I Never Give Up :D

As salam o alaikum readers..
I know, I know exactly what you're thinking... "She said she's leaving, but here she is.. posting again"
Well, Yes! I did say I was leaving for a while, but my plan to leave for Pakistan has been delayed due to a Visa glitch. I have, apparently, one more week.. And in that one week, I look at my blog and think, why not post something? Cool, no? 


I remember, about two or three months ago, I had some personal issues and wanted to quit blogging. I posted a note saying that I am quitting and i 'might' be back.. Well, I did come back. I guess, may be after a day or two. Quitting was harder than I expected, coming back felt as easy as singing the ABC song. What really brought me back were the "views" of my blog.. People visit this website, spend their precious 5 minutes to read what I write, and that's an honor in itself. I feel blessed to be able to express my views, my opinions through a platform that may not seem real significant to many people, but it does to me. Honestly, blog and internet play a very important role in my life. My family is not much social, nor am I. But the need of interacting is always there. So to fulfill that need, I find this medium, also known as internet world, really helpful. 


For so many days, I stopped using Facebook, blog, didn't check my email, didn't log into messenger. And I don't want to sound like a drama queen, but I haven't had quite beautiful days this month. Specially because the days of leaving are coming nearer by the second. It is, LORD be my witness, one step which I have taken with all determination, but the fear of failing is constantly bugging me. I underestimate myself, a lot, mostly because I have had my set of huge, and I say HUGE with capital letters, mistakes and failures. There were times when just letting go of life seemed like the right option. I never tried that though because honestly, you need a lot of courage to hurt yourself physically... more than I thought. The people who have the courage to cut their wrist or drink acid are, really, truly misguided. If only they used that courage to achieve their goals.. 
Anyways, I sort of came back to internet life. Lots and lots of unreplied wall posts, messages, emails.. Oh right, I just remembered one email is still left to be replied to.. Hmmm! 
Friends are that part of your life which you may not value when they are present, but you definately miss them when they're gone... I came back for them! And it felt really beautiful! When someone asks you,"Where have you been? I missed you.. or missed talking to you.." Someone, out there, values your existence, values your presence! It's that one feeling which does not have a substitute. 


I have failed a lot of times in my life. Both emotionally and practically. And WALLAHI I am not proud of those failures. But did I give up? Did I quit? Did I stop trying just because of some temporary gaps? My answer is a big proud honest NO! I have managed to come so far... Why should I possibly walk away now?  I am 'this' far in getting what I always dreamed for, so why should I back off now? 


My blog is one of those dreams I always had.. Reaching out to people.. In all different time zones, places I've never been to and might not even visit (Who knew Latvia was a country? I didn't).. People recognizing the blog, my other blog The Admirer Of Solitude! and SubhanALLAH, today I got 100 Views for the day of 29 November 2011, on the poetry blog.. Why back off now? Why leave now? That would be an insult to myself, and a let down to those who actually view this page.


There are two things in my life I never want to give up on. My dreams, and the people I love.. Former is easy because it only concerns me and what I do with it... Latter is the harder one, because what if those people want to give up on me? What if they 'walk away' without even letting me know the reason behind it? What if they forget that I even exist.. Then there's always a hope, that at least once, I made them smile. Once, I was the reason they were happy... Once, I was the reason they thought life is beautiful! 


So, fans, readers, followers, Maryam 'Mano' Ahmad would never give up on blogging.. Even if she has to pay to write! And a message to all those who think quitting is the easy way.. Then let me tell you something! Once you quit, you feel free. But what don't know is, you're missing out on life's biggest most beautiful blessing it has to offer; LEARNING EXPERIENCE! Yes, if you don't try, if you don't go on that road, you'd never know what lies ahead, and how blessed you can be if you continue to walk ahead, instead of walking away. Once you've started something, being a man enough to continue it, takes guts.. And everyone has them! Some people just are not aware of their capabilities, their strengths and their powers. Be strong, and be courageous! Cowards don't end up with anything; no smiles, no happiness, no results. Be powerful enough to own your life, and confident enough to show it.


Because, eventually, it's about you... Once you die, ALLAH would question you for your deeds, not for what Tom Dick or Harry did. ALLAH would ask you,"Did you give up?" And the answer,"He/She asked me to.." would not be accepted! 


Be loving, be respecting, be strong... and be courageous! When you're 'this' close to reaching and achieving your dream, walking away shouldn't even be an option! 


I love my readers, truly.. Thank you, for the support and views. May ALLAH bless each one of you with happiness and courage, ameen.

  Love,

- Maryam!

Take A Chance..

I happen to be a very good cook. Not many people are aware of my hidden talent, except for maa and dad.. and my siblings of course. But I like messing with kitchen once in a while. It's a boring thing to do though, no offence to  cooking-lovers, but I personally don't admire being in front of the fire, mixing chicken, salt, etc. 
I love baking, solely because it does not include fire and standing for 15 minutes with no clue how onions can turn from absolute white color to brown in the matter of one second when you look away to see if your mobile just vibrated. I still remember yelling out from kitchen,"Mom! They were just white.. Now they're.. sorta... black.." Nothing to be proud of, honestly! Me and kitchen don't get along really well, but still, whenever we do, we are rockstars! That being said, I'd tell you what I did today!


For some days, I had been thinkin' the same thing over and over again. Why is Mom not cooking any pasta these days? Pasta is the love of my life, and without it I feel incomplete and sad. That's rather abnormal, but that's not the point. On lunch, I suddenly came up with an idea that "Dad, we got this KFC we haven't eaten, so you bring spaghetti and I'll cook for you and maa." And they both agreed. 


We bought this gravy a while ago. So I just took the gravy, spaghetti, the KFC chicken pieces, some capsicum, some other stuff, and mixed it all together. Believe me, it was 1 AM and if I had messed up the dish, the odds were that my dad would be embarrassed and a lot of stuff would be wasted. 
I had no idea how it was going to turn out. Because honestly, I don't do the "Google Recipe, love it, cook it, enjoy it" thing. I like taking my own chances, doing what feels right.


And that beautiful Pasta dish turned out absolutely FANTASTIC! Loved it. Dad loved it, Maa loved it, I liked it (considering the fact that I stood in front of the stove for more or less 10 minutes and it annoyed my headache.. So my love turned into like..) So, the thing is, if I hadn't take a chance, I wouldn't know how it'd feel afterwards. 


My point is... Take a chance. Take a risk. Because you never know what you've been missing until it comes along and waits for you to take a risk. Frankly speaking, the best thing you can hear from someone is,"I'll take my chances with you... or never take them at all." Be the one to say it to your loved one, don't worry.. Just go ahead, take the risk. What's the worst that can happen, right? 


And see, lots of problems would solve if we were ready to communicate and face our fears. If only we'd talk, if only we'd listen.. If only we were strong enough to face the worst.. and yet hope for the best, the world would be a much much better place and there'd be less sadness, less disappointments, less hate, less problems. Be strong, be simple and be loyal to each other.. Life is too short to be wasted in tears, sadness and silence. Take your chances today, who knows, tomorrow could be your best day! 


Leaving for Pakistan in some days. Would be off from blogging for a long while. Thank you everyone for being there, reading, commenting, always showing support! This blog would become better, and more awesome soon. I'll miss my home, no doubt.. But here's to hoping for a new, better and much much more productive beginning. Wish Me Luck :) 

Take care of yourselves and your loved ones! Don't forget to express your feelings, enjoy your life and be honest to each other.. Live Simple, Stay Dignified!

Till we meet again,

There are No Goodbyes..

FiamanALLAH

- Maryam 'Mano' Ahmad.

Fights Of Love - So True!

This was so true, it made me cry! May ALLAH bless all the lovers who fight and keep them together... for more fights :D 

 The most confusing, scary, weird, disturbing, beautiful, enchanting, life-changing feeling.. Love! <3

- Maryam

Love you, Maa!

As soon as I saw this picture, I was stunned! It speaks for itself... A Mother, with the least of sources and hope, still loves her child and treats him as the closest most special person to her. Only a "maa" can do that!

Honor and Value your Mothers! 

As Prophet Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him) Said,"Heaven Lies Beneath The Feet Of The Mother..." 

- Maryam

Life is as simple as 11-11-11...

Been reading a book nowadays that takes a lot of my time. So I am not into posting much stuff, sincere apologies to those who open my blog with a hope that I might have posted something new and different. Sorry :(


It was 11-11-11 Today! Much expected hype was created by the Media and social networking websites. Must have been a great day for those who partied all day and night. I didn't do anything much today, to be very honest. My day started bad with an extreme headache and I had absolutely no clue why it occurred. Some things annoyed me rest of the day. Felt lonely and pretty weird actually. I am sure there must be a billion bloggers writing their happiest moments of life that happened today, but unfortunately I have literally nothing much to write. Still waiting for the admissions in university to open so I can go and apply, and take the first step towards making a life for myself.
But, all the gloom aside, I did something today which I have not done in quite a lot of time. I promised myself....


I promised to struggle, till the very end, even if I fail again and again. I will not lose hope, I will not consider failure a result, instead I will take it as a reminder to make myself more better and more successful the next time. 
I promised to 'dream'. Not fantasize, not daydream, but dream! To have those little desires in my heart that make me, or say, compel me to achieve my goals. As they say, as long as you dream, you live.
I promised to stay focused and not get distracted. My nature is, when I am committed to something, or someone, in any sense, there is no one who can distract me from my path of life. As I am one of those who hardly take dictations, its easy for me to go on my way and let others focus on theirs by not giving a little concern to them. 
I promised to love. Every individual for their own-self. 
I promised to do the things I love and not let anyone stop me! 
I promised to not let others decide my life for me. Been there-done that. And it felt awful, insane and very scary. See, its your life-story you're writing. Your existence is what makes your life matter. So why give the pen to somebody else? Taking my own risks, planning my own future, deciding the good and bad for me, that's what I want to do. 
And finally, I promised to not give up; on myself, on my dreams, on the people I love and on the goals I have set for myself.


Call it a new year's resolution, or just another unreal way to be hopeful, but thats who I am. 


I talk to myself, tell myself the most impossible things, create the most unexpected scenarios and make them happen. Because only, if you're a true friend and true guide to yourself, only then you will be able to achieve something in life. Sooner, or later, everyone leaves you. There is no forever in this temporary world. What remains with you is your soul, your heart, your mind and your ability to collaborate all of them and make a life for yourself. It is not rocket-science to figure out what you want and desire. So, dream, and chase it. Because its after all your life, and you make the rules! Don't let others enforce their dreams on you. What they could not achieve, did not have the ability to do, why should you be responsible for that? 
Love, everyone and everything. It's not easy, but don't complicate it either.
Believe, in yourself and your talents. You're a rock star, in your own sense. Even if one person smiles because of you; its a good deed you have done, and good deeds never go wasted!
Ignore the ones who make you sad. Why waste a space in your mind for those who won't spend one moment to see you smile? Right? Go ahead, learn to ignore, and learn to take it easy on yourself.


Simple is that, be yourself, love yourself, don't rely on others to make you happy. Life is simple, just like today's date; 11-11-11... Don't make it complicated. 

Live simple, live dignified, stay honest, be loving, and keep humble!

P.S: A special thanks to all the people who visit my facebook page and this blog and appreciate it. Your support and motivation keeps me going. Thank you :)

- Maryam!

Best Friends!

Value and honor your best friends!

- Maryam!

Let It Rain Over Me...

So, it rained, on Eid ul Adha's first day, today! Beautiful weather, and the enchanting sound of raindrops falling, took me to a divine level of happiness. Aah, I love rain, and all the beauty that comes with it. 

At about 8 Pm, i went upstairs on my rooftop, and to my surprise, it was a cloudy sky and the clouds did some amazing photography while having the Flash mode on!. I was taking a walk when suddenly our home's and the nearby homes' electricity went out. Gosh, I ran like crazy on the stairs, because I knew my fear wouldn't be as much as of my Maa and dad. As soon as I reached their room, light came back, and they were as relieved to see my face in the light as if I had come home after 2 years. Love you, Maa and dad, your sudden care really makes my day! 

I am not one of those people who 'dance' in the rain. I like to just close my eyes, stand in that beautiful moment still enough to feel every raindrop on my face. The feeling just sends chills down my spine. Love it. But today, I wanted to try something different. My sister loves this song called,"Rain Over Me" by Marc Anthony and Pitbull (The name pitbull is just crazy). But anyhow, I love this song too, only when I am in a mood to dance, or when I am doing the dishes. In my latter situation I adore this song because it makes doing dishes a lot more fun than my imagination. I sometimes like to pretend that my dishes are singing this song. Call me crazy, but believe me, doing dishes for someone like me is like watching a duck saying "quack quack" for constantly one year; Yes, you guessed it right, boring is the word I have been trying to find. 

So, I put my headphones on the maximum volume, Marc Anthony singing "rain over me", and me on my rooftop jumping in that one moment which can be defined as,"Exceptionally amazing".

I was jumping like a little kid who got a new toy. The maroon-red sky, slightly cool breeze, raindrops going absolutely crazy with me, the chemistry between me and the weather was fantastic. I was dancing like there is no tomorrow. Wait, this was used for some actor I have forgotten the name of. Oh, yes, Ranbir Kapoor's grandpa or something, Aah, Who cares. 

So, the point of the whole story is, Lose yourself in the beauty of Nature when you think you're going too far with the anxiety, the fears, the depression. Unlike they show in Hollywood movies, people go to pubs and clubs to dance and drink to 'lose themselves' because that's not losing yourself, that's basically losing your morals and human in you and a run-away from problems. My suggestion, go crazy for the nature. Clouds, sky, stars, mountains, greenery, raindrops, occasional rainbows, cool breezes, snow-fall... We have so much around us to feel, why would we need to go around looking for silly outdoor entertainments with our stupid excuses like "I had a breakup, lets go to a club to find me a new guy"... Come on! We got better, or say, much much better things around us we ignore on a daily basis because we're too busy being indoor and sad.

I am myself an indoor person, I confess, but nature and I have a very special connection. Being an aspiring photographer, I love taking photographs of Sunrise and Sunset. The scenery, the message and the atmosphere makes me feel completely alive! Nature, ALLAH's creation, is breath-taking. If only you open your eyes and let your soul set itself free in it because it inspires us in a way which humans and things may never be able to. 

It gives us the messages, the hidden answers in such a special style that we don't need to listen to 'em by our ears.. but hear them, feel them in our hearts. Open your hearts to nature, to true things.. that are actually 'beautiful' and Divine Blessings! 

Forget the worries, let the grief go! Fears are no good, for better lets hope! Live the beauty, enjoy the Divine Love.. Go crazy and let nature be your 'true love'.. Have a Fantastic Day and Eid Mubarak!

- Maryam

Value the ones who make an effort.. to be in your LIFE!

A week ago, something just happened to me, I went into my dad's room and simply said,"Dad, university admissions dates are going to be in December.." He said,"Ok..." 
And that's when I knew that he is waiting for me to justify, and explain what I just said. So I did. Started with a,"Have a friend there, she told me all the information" to look like my sources are reliable and my information is right. And said so many things while my mom kept smiling, as she sat there to back me up in case dad does not agree. 


After listening to me talking about some irrelevant, some convincing and some weird stuff, dad said,"Sure! Collect all the exact information about university and the accomodations, and we'll do the procedure then, InshaALLAH.." 


And I was literally like,"Did he just say that?" Because my father never wanted to send me to Pakistan, due to the conditions of the country. I didn't want him to send me to United Kingdom, because of so many reasons which I don't want to state. My brothers live there, good enough, but they are in the times of struggle themselves. And my time is more than just of struggle, its of huge decisions that really decide my whole life. So, I took a decision to apply in Islamabad, considering all the situations and surprisingly, dad agreed. 


That was one of the best days of my life. Literally, one of the best because convincing my dad for something this big is like trying to cool a burning house with only one bucket of water. Bad example, but the point is, it was one of those moment when you can't help but come back into your room and dance like there's no tomorrow. I was "Happy". 


I came back on my laptop and talked to one of my best buddies, Hala, who was one of the main reasons I got enough courage to talk to my dad. She pushed me and tolerated me for so many days while I complained about not being able to talk to dad. She told me her experiences, her own versions of courage, and struggle, and may ALLAH bless her, helped me gain a lot of strength. She increased my happiness a lot. 


Then I sent a message to one of my friends whose words really pushed me to make a better decision about my life and not just 'live with it'. Instead, make a difference about it.


Then I went into the kitchen, as my mom had went in there, hugged her and said,"Maa! That's your daughter.. YO" and my mom couldn't help but smile at her strange daughter who was crying just some hours ago due to the boredom and not being able to 'change' a thing. With me, she was happy too! 
It felt amazing. How something which seemed so small could bring such a huge difference. It felt beautiful! 


And it became one of those days that I'd never forget. And specially the people who were in it, at the moment. Hala, Amal, Mom, Aapi, bros.. Love you, guys! 


It made me think of something.
I felt that if I did not have my mom sitting there beside me, I wouldn't have been able to talk to dad, not for a second, LORD be my witness, my whole body was shivering. 
If I didn't have Hala online at the moment I left my room to went into dad's room, I wouldn't have the guts to leave my room.
If Amal hadn't shown up online right after I came back, my happiness wouldn't have increased twice as much. 
If my friend hadn't called me some hours ago, and be annoyed at my sadness, it wouldn't have been possible to consider 'doing' something about my constantly depressed mood. 
And if I didn't have ALLAH with me, then rest assured, I wouldn't be alive today writing all this. 


Value people! Value the ones who make you happy, who make you smile, who back you up no matter on how small scale they do it. Because without these people, you're a literal Nobody! If they are not with you, you'd fail to do anything. If they are not there to cheer you up when you're sad, hold you tight when you need a hug, wipe your tears when you can't stop crying, and jump with you on your success, you'd fail to learn the true meaning of Happiness and bliss. 


Value those who 'be there' for you in all the times of sadness and excitement, alike, because without these people, you won't be able to smile, ever.
Honor the people who make an effort to be in your life. Because, they are the ones worth your effort. They deserve your presence in their life, because they themselves try hard enough to make their presence matter. Give love, and you'll get love. Support the ones who are in need, and they'll support you once you need them. Jump with the ones succeeding, and they'll jump with you when you succeed. 
Wipe the tears of crying ones, and they'll wipe yours.. 


Be human, and others would be human to you! Never stop playing your role in making this world a better place, and others would make your world better than you can imagine. Be happy and make others happy! 

"Be there for each other, no matter how different you are!" 

- Maryam!

A Thousand Views...

MashaALLAH! My newly born blog, well not so new, but in context to my previous internet activities, this IS new, just passed the 1000 Views Mark :) 
Congratulations, blog. 

The above photo is a screenshot of my Blogger. 

The Admirer Of Solitude is my another blog that contains poetry, music, and is basically my way of expressing my feelings and stuff :) 

But this blog, Enjoy the gift called Life, is really close to my heart. I am able to write things that make me feel positive, and hope so, make my readers feel the same way. 

So, the top viewing countries are; 

Bahrain (Best follower)

Saudi Arabia (90% of views have to be mine, but I don't know if viewing my own blog counts)

Egypt (Mabrook!)

USA (I don't know anyone personally from there, so that's a good thing)

Pakistan (Sweet)

Syria and UK.

Thank you, all the people who, even once, logged in to my blog and gave it a read. I am honored! (Oscar speech, coming soon, YO!)

My main aim is to spread a positive thought, first for myself, then for other people. I write things which I can relate to, in a way others can too. Hope I have succeeded to make a little difference, in at least one life! 

Stay Blessed, and never ever lose hope. Life sucks today, it'd be better tomorrow, and best the day after! Just keep goin'..

FiamanALLAH!

- Maryam!

Epic Photo Of An Epic Love!

Photograph by: Billy Dodson

Gave me spine chills. The Mother's eyes are so fierce, yet she is the only comfort for her kid. She'd protect her kid from everything.. <3 

Love you, Maa! You're my courage, my one and only hope, and my FOREVER LOVE! <3 Love you, more than my life! 

- Maryam!