So, Life Is Beautiful...

In Pakistan, almost in university... Traveled alone for the first time. So many experiences at once, but had a great, memorable time.


Just wanted to update all the readers, I'll be back by Mid January InshaALLAH! Miss blogging, miss my home, but inshaALLAH, will be back! 


Thank you for the constant views and support! Remember me in your prayers! 


Alhamdulillah, Life is beautiful! So is yours, and so is everyone else's... It's just the matter of being thankful and honoring the days of this short life..!!


FiamanALLAH


- Maryam!

Coldplay - Fix You

There is always a hope.. a light, that eventually guides you, and everything becomes all right!

- Maryam!

The Monday Thought!

Do not give up on;
Dreams,
Goals,
Aims,
Life...
And Mostly,
Love!


There would be many times in life when everything would seem dark! You'd feel broken, hurt, left alone... But always remember, those who give up in the dark never get to see the light! Keep fighting, for who you are, and what you believe in! Keep looking for the ray of light... And eventually, you'll see it, and you'll know your way to reach the desired destination! 

Be Strong!

- Maryam

Love Is.. Courage, Beauty, Honesty.. Responsibility!

"Love sees no return.." 
How many times in our lives do we hear such quotations How many times are we asked to believe in it, and how many times do we tell ourselves just because we're going through a rough time with our lover? A lot, I am sure. 

I personally believe in the very concept that Love is not just a word or a feeling. It's a huge responsibility given to us by our LORD to take care of someone from the ALMIGHTY's Creation! it's, in fact, a weird concept but I guess it's the most appropriate one when it comes to religious and worldly terms alike. 

I loved when a doctor once said,"I am sorry, if your heart was literally broken, you wouldn't be alive today.." hehe! Medically, it's impossible. And Medical is what we kind of live on nowadays. Practically speaking, he was right. Emotionally speaking, well we got psychologists who would name tons of diseases telling us what's wrong with our head because of which we're feeling a certain thing. Depression, Anxiety, you name them! 

I have gone through depression.. And believe me, it's not a good place to be in. But the best part is, it makes you realize the importance of your loved ones who stick to you even when you're in a complete car-crash sort of condition. You look ugly, you don't work fine, you sound horrible, but they still love you because you're their love! And if talking about 'Love'.. Then I personally believe that any person who can hold their love in their worst of all positions is a true lover. Most of the times, I have personally observed, relationships end because one of them gets sick and tired of the other one. They fight, they argue, they blame, they get irritated, they separate. And that's where it all ends.. Love ends! 

In my perception of this feeling or responsibility, there is another idea to it. Devotion! Complete devotion to the one you are meant to be with. While watching A Beautiful Mind, a fantastic movie about a Schizophrenic Mathematician whose wife sticks to him and stays with him till the very end. And as he receives his Nobel Prize, his speech only consists of praises and really nice words for his wife. And he accepts that only because of her, he was standing in the most successful moment of his life. Yes, giving all you have for that one person, is Love! In the beginning of their married life, we see that Alishia, wife of John Nash (the Mathematician), does not get much return for her love for him. And as time passes, things become worse. His hallucinations start to take over his mind and he starts to confuse the fantasy with reality. But only when he himself puts just a little effort to be with her, she gives it all to him. If she had wanted a return, then there would be no John Nash, and there would be no "Beautiful Mind".. I cannot believe I am stating a movie as my concept, but all I want to point out is, when Love is real, when it finds its way, only a little effort can make a huge difference. All we need to literally differentiate between is, fantasy and reality. 

Love does not have to be complicated. Love is not pain. Separation is pain, distance is pain, difference is pain, but love... is not! If love were pain, then there would be no poets claiming it to be ALLAH's biggest blessing. 

I personally think, Love is Divine! ALLAH puts it in the hearts of those people who are honest and responsible enough to not only hold their own selves, but be the true care takers of another human being. It does expect a return, but does not demand one. If we love our CREATOR, we would love HIS creation! And we would definitely put all our efforts, literally, to love that one person from HIS creation whom ALLAH has chosen for us, as our sole mate! 

Love is for the committed, honest and brave ones... Who are ready to sacrifice, yet smile. Have faith, yet face the worst. It's as simple as ABC! All you have to do is, put your effort, be brave and 'be a man'. 

"It's only in the mysterious equation of love that any logical reasons can be found.."  John Nash - A Beautiful Mind!

- Maryam!

Be... Yourself, Be A Human!

Its 3 AM. I am sitting with the laptop on my lap, thinking a thousand things, watching random youtube videos, listening to music with a heater by my side. Basically, I am being 'myself' at this moment. Alone, doing my own things, creating my own scenarios in head, planning some phone calls I am supposed to make tomorrow, just had a tin of Mirinda Citrus (Remind me if I forget that its damn cold here and I am NOT supposed to be careless about my tonsils and a possible ear infection which happens every 6 months, gosh I need to fix myself). 


I am neither happy, nor sad at this exact moment. Excited about going for university InshaALLAH in a couple of days. Gloomy about leaving home. Happy about the fact that finally I'd get to do things my way, sad about the fact that the one friend I used to love sharing things with, and literally honored is no where to be found these days.. Optimistic about my studies, pessimistic about the people there.. Confident about doing the right things, scared to fail at them.. All in all, I am being me! Confused, happy, excited, scared, all at the same time!


And I don't really think it's a bad thing. As long as we are not hurting anyone, whatever the qualities we possess, we should be proud of them. And be the owner of our lives, our talents. 


Like, If you're a good writer, write for yourself, write with a trust in yourself that says,"this work is owned by me!" Some jealous people with lots and lots of hate in them will consider it arrogance, but the ones who know talent when they see it, will call it confidence and self-trust. Wait, is self-trust even a word? Never mind, point is, be confident about your own existence. Because no matter what you do, no matter how far you go, eventually, it's your soul, your heart, your life, your own existence that matters to you. There'd be good people with you, who support you, love you, or even just make you smile. And there'd be people who'd throw you into the rubbish and basically hurt you to the core of your heart. Both are necessary. Haters, to make you strong enough to face criticism and troubles in your life which eventually makes you stronger. Loved ones, to hold you when you're down or sad! But after all, it's you who matters. 


I read once,"If you can't love yourself, don't expect others to love you.." A very true fact, indeed. Because loving one's own self (Not indulging in, of course) is one quality a lot of people don't have in them. Sometimes, when I am angry, or in a mood of despair, I hate myself a lot. But the feeling goes away as soon as mom reminds me that I am that one kid who never gave up since the day I was born. So, I guess that counts for something, right? I am sure, all of you have that one person who tells you that you're a rock star. And you can achieve anything you like. 
Not very long ago I came across a group of Comics that were supposed to be 'dark' and 'mysterious'. As I saw them, they were nothing but a very pathetic attempt at being an emo by an emo-wannabee. And the comments went like,"OMG you make me feel like killin' myself, OMG I might want to stay in dark and dieeee cos of your comics.." 
I mean, seriously? Is that what you want to do with your life? Make people want to kill themselves? Not amused, WALLAHI, not amused.  


The whole point is, be true to yourself, be honest to yourself. Don't tell yourself, and others for that matter, the things which you don't feel inside. If you don't hate someone, don't say it just for the sake of reputation or becoming popular. If you love someone, say it, instead of hiding and pretending like they don't matter to you. And when someone tells you that you make a difference in their life, you're a good influence or as simple as that, that they love you.. Accept it! Learn to honor love, learn to be honest, learn to be courageous and brave enough to show and accept a human gesture!


My maa used to tell me when I was a kid that people who have feelings are more beautiful than the ones who don't. And I used to say, how is that possible? I mean, everyone has feelings.. It's been about 6 years, I guess, since she first told me that.. and now I understand what she truly meant. Feelings, emotions, having the sense to actually feel sincere words, a mere touch, a beautiful voice, a humbling compliment, an irritating piece of criticism is what differentiates Humans and Animals. See, have you ever seen a cat telling another cat that she looks beautiful today because she dyed her hair Maroon? I am sure it's a very big NO from your side... But you must have heard these things a lot in High School, College, while at job, or from a friend, or might have even said it to a friend.. That's what being human is! Being able to interact, feel, express, honor, accept, reject, being able to say what's in your heart, what's in your mind.. is human being! And being able to literally do all of this, practically implying humanity in your words as well as actions is being yourself! If you like a thing, do it. If you have a dream, pursue it. If you despise someone, let them know in a kind, gentle way, which might make them a better person. If you want to dance, do it. Want to smile, do it. Want to cry? Sure, do it. Do, what makes you feel good and proud of yourself.


Another thing which Maa taught me is, being yourself comes with a lot and lot of tests and problems. And man, she is always so right! People, in general, compare the slightly different ones to the seemingly perfect ones and that's one thing which always annoys the living daylights out of me. I mean, WHY???? Individuality, anyone? Have we forgotten about the fact that every person is born an individual with their own LORD-gifted talents and capabilities? I am sure we have, otherwise, we would never be saying,"So and So got 82%, why did you get 81.9%" 
As simple as it sounds, it's more simpler to imply in real lives. If you're the one who got 82%, Good for you! Go have a blast, enjoy your day. If you're the one who got 81.9%... Make sure you're a rock star too. Because every effort you put in, every day you tried, may be more than the former one, paid off. And may be, you have much better talents and hidden abilities than the so-and-so one you're being compared to!


Another thing I have to clear up, once again, to those who sometimes really easily judge me as a know-it-all or someone who considers herself an awesome person. Well, yeah, I do think I am kind of awesome, may be because I am. 
Ok, jokes apart! 
Writing is my refuge. When I am sad, or feeling low, I write poems... Which aren't really poems, just random pieces of writing. And when I feel a need to correct myself, or someone, I write stuff like this, big huge articles in my way of writing that's simple and blunt and honest! And whatever I write, is first an advice to my ownself, than a little humble suggestion to all those who read it! I write things that make sense to me, that mean something to me. If someone tells me to be confident or proud, I won't be unless I know deep in my heart that it's the right thing to do. If I feel it, I'd honor that person, their advice and apply in my real life. If no, then LORD be with them, I would pretend I never even heard from them! Mean, I know, but sometimes, you need to close your ears to trolls and open your eyes to people that matter. People who actually want the best for you.. People who truly DO love you! Even if all they can do is tell you how much you mean to them, and how much they honor your presence in their life! People you actually love, the ones that make you feel better, make you feel alive and make your life beautiful! Because being deaf to the world is fine, being blind to love is not. Be yourself, be a human, no matter how small or insignificant the situation might be... Just be who you are, just be what ALLAH made you; A Human!

"Human Being Is A Creation Of Divine, Being A Human Is Honoring The Divine!"

- Maryam!

... I Never Give Up :D

As salam o alaikum readers..
I know, I know exactly what you're thinking... "She said she's leaving, but here she is.. posting again"
Well, Yes! I did say I was leaving for a while, but my plan to leave for Pakistan has been delayed due to a Visa glitch. I have, apparently, one more week.. And in that one week, I look at my blog and think, why not post something? Cool, no? 


I remember, about two or three months ago, I had some personal issues and wanted to quit blogging. I posted a note saying that I am quitting and i 'might' be back.. Well, I did come back. I guess, may be after a day or two. Quitting was harder than I expected, coming back felt as easy as singing the ABC song. What really brought me back were the "views" of my blog.. People visit this website, spend their precious 5 minutes to read what I write, and that's an honor in itself. I feel blessed to be able to express my views, my opinions through a platform that may not seem real significant to many people, but it does to me. Honestly, blog and internet play a very important role in my life. My family is not much social, nor am I. But the need of interacting is always there. So to fulfill that need, I find this medium, also known as internet world, really helpful. 


For so many days, I stopped using Facebook, blog, didn't check my email, didn't log into messenger. And I don't want to sound like a drama queen, but I haven't had quite beautiful days this month. Specially because the days of leaving are coming nearer by the second. It is, LORD be my witness, one step which I have taken with all determination, but the fear of failing is constantly bugging me. I underestimate myself, a lot, mostly because I have had my set of huge, and I say HUGE with capital letters, mistakes and failures. There were times when just letting go of life seemed like the right option. I never tried that though because honestly, you need a lot of courage to hurt yourself physically... more than I thought. The people who have the courage to cut their wrist or drink acid are, really, truly misguided. If only they used that courage to achieve their goals.. 
Anyways, I sort of came back to internet life. Lots and lots of unreplied wall posts, messages, emails.. Oh right, I just remembered one email is still left to be replied to.. Hmmm! 
Friends are that part of your life which you may not value when they are present, but you definately miss them when they're gone... I came back for them! And it felt really beautiful! When someone asks you,"Where have you been? I missed you.. or missed talking to you.." Someone, out there, values your existence, values your presence! It's that one feeling which does not have a substitute. 


I have failed a lot of times in my life. Both emotionally and practically. And WALLAHI I am not proud of those failures. But did I give up? Did I quit? Did I stop trying just because of some temporary gaps? My answer is a big proud honest NO! I have managed to come so far... Why should I possibly walk away now?  I am 'this' far in getting what I always dreamed for, so why should I back off now? 


My blog is one of those dreams I always had.. Reaching out to people.. In all different time zones, places I've never been to and might not even visit (Who knew Latvia was a country? I didn't).. People recognizing the blog, my other blog The Admirer Of Solitude! and SubhanALLAH, today I got 100 Views for the day of 29 November 2011, on the poetry blog.. Why back off now? Why leave now? That would be an insult to myself, and a let down to those who actually view this page.


There are two things in my life I never want to give up on. My dreams, and the people I love.. Former is easy because it only concerns me and what I do with it... Latter is the harder one, because what if those people want to give up on me? What if they 'walk away' without even letting me know the reason behind it? What if they forget that I even exist.. Then there's always a hope, that at least once, I made them smile. Once, I was the reason they were happy... Once, I was the reason they thought life is beautiful! 


So, fans, readers, followers, Maryam 'Mano' Ahmad would never give up on blogging.. Even if she has to pay to write! And a message to all those who think quitting is the easy way.. Then let me tell you something! Once you quit, you feel free. But what don't know is, you're missing out on life's biggest most beautiful blessing it has to offer; LEARNING EXPERIENCE! Yes, if you don't try, if you don't go on that road, you'd never know what lies ahead, and how blessed you can be if you continue to walk ahead, instead of walking away. Once you've started something, being a man enough to continue it, takes guts.. And everyone has them! Some people just are not aware of their capabilities, their strengths and their powers. Be strong, and be courageous! Cowards don't end up with anything; no smiles, no happiness, no results. Be powerful enough to own your life, and confident enough to show it.


Because, eventually, it's about you... Once you die, ALLAH would question you for your deeds, not for what Tom Dick or Harry did. ALLAH would ask you,"Did you give up?" And the answer,"He/She asked me to.." would not be accepted! 


Be loving, be respecting, be strong... and be courageous! When you're 'this' close to reaching and achieving your dream, walking away shouldn't even be an option! 


I love my readers, truly.. Thank you, for the support and views. May ALLAH bless each one of you with happiness and courage, ameen.

  Love,

- Maryam!

Take A Chance..

I happen to be a very good cook. Not many people are aware of my hidden talent, except for maa and dad.. and my siblings of course. But I like messing with kitchen once in a while. It's a boring thing to do though, no offence to  cooking-lovers, but I personally don't admire being in front of the fire, mixing chicken, salt, etc. 
I love baking, solely because it does not include fire and standing for 15 minutes with no clue how onions can turn from absolute white color to brown in the matter of one second when you look away to see if your mobile just vibrated. I still remember yelling out from kitchen,"Mom! They were just white.. Now they're.. sorta... black.." Nothing to be proud of, honestly! Me and kitchen don't get along really well, but still, whenever we do, we are rockstars! That being said, I'd tell you what I did today!


For some days, I had been thinkin' the same thing over and over again. Why is Mom not cooking any pasta these days? Pasta is the love of my life, and without it I feel incomplete and sad. That's rather abnormal, but that's not the point. On lunch, I suddenly came up with an idea that "Dad, we got this KFC we haven't eaten, so you bring spaghetti and I'll cook for you and maa." And they both agreed. 


We bought this gravy a while ago. So I just took the gravy, spaghetti, the KFC chicken pieces, some capsicum, some other stuff, and mixed it all together. Believe me, it was 1 AM and if I had messed up the dish, the odds were that my dad would be embarrassed and a lot of stuff would be wasted. 
I had no idea how it was going to turn out. Because honestly, I don't do the "Google Recipe, love it, cook it, enjoy it" thing. I like taking my own chances, doing what feels right.


And that beautiful Pasta dish turned out absolutely FANTASTIC! Loved it. Dad loved it, Maa loved it, I liked it (considering the fact that I stood in front of the stove for more or less 10 minutes and it annoyed my headache.. So my love turned into like..) So, the thing is, if I hadn't take a chance, I wouldn't know how it'd feel afterwards. 


My point is... Take a chance. Take a risk. Because you never know what you've been missing until it comes along and waits for you to take a risk. Frankly speaking, the best thing you can hear from someone is,"I'll take my chances with you... or never take them at all." Be the one to say it to your loved one, don't worry.. Just go ahead, take the risk. What's the worst that can happen, right? 


And see, lots of problems would solve if we were ready to communicate and face our fears. If only we'd talk, if only we'd listen.. If only we were strong enough to face the worst.. and yet hope for the best, the world would be a much much better place and there'd be less sadness, less disappointments, less hate, less problems. Be strong, be simple and be loyal to each other.. Life is too short to be wasted in tears, sadness and silence. Take your chances today, who knows, tomorrow could be your best day! 


Leaving for Pakistan in some days. Would be off from blogging for a long while. Thank you everyone for being there, reading, commenting, always showing support! This blog would become better, and more awesome soon. I'll miss my home, no doubt.. But here's to hoping for a new, better and much much more productive beginning. Wish Me Luck :) 

Take care of yourselves and your loved ones! Don't forget to express your feelings, enjoy your life and be honest to each other.. Live Simple, Stay Dignified!

Till we meet again,

There are No Goodbyes..

FiamanALLAH

- Maryam 'Mano' Ahmad.

Fights Of Love - So True!

This was so true, it made me cry! May ALLAH bless all the lovers who fight and keep them together... for more fights :D 

 The most confusing, scary, weird, disturbing, beautiful, enchanting, life-changing feeling.. Love! <3

- Maryam

Love you, Maa!

As soon as I saw this picture, I was stunned! It speaks for itself... A Mother, with the least of sources and hope, still loves her child and treats him as the closest most special person to her. Only a "maa" can do that!

Honor and Value your Mothers! 

As Prophet Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him) Said,"Heaven Lies Beneath The Feet Of The Mother..." 

- Maryam

Life is as simple as 11-11-11...

Been reading a book nowadays that takes a lot of my time. So I am not into posting much stuff, sincere apologies to those who open my blog with a hope that I might have posted something new and different. Sorry :(


It was 11-11-11 Today! Much expected hype was created by the Media and social networking websites. Must have been a great day for those who partied all day and night. I didn't do anything much today, to be very honest. My day started bad with an extreme headache and I had absolutely no clue why it occurred. Some things annoyed me rest of the day. Felt lonely and pretty weird actually. I am sure there must be a billion bloggers writing their happiest moments of life that happened today, but unfortunately I have literally nothing much to write. Still waiting for the admissions in university to open so I can go and apply, and take the first step towards making a life for myself.
But, all the gloom aside, I did something today which I have not done in quite a lot of time. I promised myself....


I promised to struggle, till the very end, even if I fail again and again. I will not lose hope, I will not consider failure a result, instead I will take it as a reminder to make myself more better and more successful the next time. 
I promised to 'dream'. Not fantasize, not daydream, but dream! To have those little desires in my heart that make me, or say, compel me to achieve my goals. As they say, as long as you dream, you live.
I promised to stay focused and not get distracted. My nature is, when I am committed to something, or someone, in any sense, there is no one who can distract me from my path of life. As I am one of those who hardly take dictations, its easy for me to go on my way and let others focus on theirs by not giving a little concern to them. 
I promised to love. Every individual for their own-self. 
I promised to do the things I love and not let anyone stop me! 
I promised to not let others decide my life for me. Been there-done that. And it felt awful, insane and very scary. See, its your life-story you're writing. Your existence is what makes your life matter. So why give the pen to somebody else? Taking my own risks, planning my own future, deciding the good and bad for me, that's what I want to do. 
And finally, I promised to not give up; on myself, on my dreams, on the people I love and on the goals I have set for myself.


Call it a new year's resolution, or just another unreal way to be hopeful, but thats who I am. 


I talk to myself, tell myself the most impossible things, create the most unexpected scenarios and make them happen. Because only, if you're a true friend and true guide to yourself, only then you will be able to achieve something in life. Sooner, or later, everyone leaves you. There is no forever in this temporary world. What remains with you is your soul, your heart, your mind and your ability to collaborate all of them and make a life for yourself. It is not rocket-science to figure out what you want and desire. So, dream, and chase it. Because its after all your life, and you make the rules! Don't let others enforce their dreams on you. What they could not achieve, did not have the ability to do, why should you be responsible for that? 
Love, everyone and everything. It's not easy, but don't complicate it either.
Believe, in yourself and your talents. You're a rock star, in your own sense. Even if one person smiles because of you; its a good deed you have done, and good deeds never go wasted!
Ignore the ones who make you sad. Why waste a space in your mind for those who won't spend one moment to see you smile? Right? Go ahead, learn to ignore, and learn to take it easy on yourself.


Simple is that, be yourself, love yourself, don't rely on others to make you happy. Life is simple, just like today's date; 11-11-11... Don't make it complicated. 

Live simple, live dignified, stay honest, be loving, and keep humble!

P.S: A special thanks to all the people who visit my facebook page and this blog and appreciate it. Your support and motivation keeps me going. Thank you :)

- Maryam!

Best Friends!

Value and honor your best friends!

- Maryam!

Let It Rain Over Me...

So, it rained, on Eid ul Adha's first day, today! Beautiful weather, and the enchanting sound of raindrops falling, took me to a divine level of happiness. Aah, I love rain, and all the beauty that comes with it. 

At about 8 Pm, i went upstairs on my rooftop, and to my surprise, it was a cloudy sky and the clouds did some amazing photography while having the Flash mode on!. I was taking a walk when suddenly our home's and the nearby homes' electricity went out. Gosh, I ran like crazy on the stairs, because I knew my fear wouldn't be as much as of my Maa and dad. As soon as I reached their room, light came back, and they were as relieved to see my face in the light as if I had come home after 2 years. Love you, Maa and dad, your sudden care really makes my day! 

I am not one of those people who 'dance' in the rain. I like to just close my eyes, stand in that beautiful moment still enough to feel every raindrop on my face. The feeling just sends chills down my spine. Love it. But today, I wanted to try something different. My sister loves this song called,"Rain Over Me" by Marc Anthony and Pitbull (The name pitbull is just crazy). But anyhow, I love this song too, only when I am in a mood to dance, or when I am doing the dishes. In my latter situation I adore this song because it makes doing dishes a lot more fun than my imagination. I sometimes like to pretend that my dishes are singing this song. Call me crazy, but believe me, doing dishes for someone like me is like watching a duck saying "quack quack" for constantly one year; Yes, you guessed it right, boring is the word I have been trying to find. 

So, I put my headphones on the maximum volume, Marc Anthony singing "rain over me", and me on my rooftop jumping in that one moment which can be defined as,"Exceptionally amazing".

I was jumping like a little kid who got a new toy. The maroon-red sky, slightly cool breeze, raindrops going absolutely crazy with me, the chemistry between me and the weather was fantastic. I was dancing like there is no tomorrow. Wait, this was used for some actor I have forgotten the name of. Oh, yes, Ranbir Kapoor's grandpa or something, Aah, Who cares. 

So, the point of the whole story is, Lose yourself in the beauty of Nature when you think you're going too far with the anxiety, the fears, the depression. Unlike they show in Hollywood movies, people go to pubs and clubs to dance and drink to 'lose themselves' because that's not losing yourself, that's basically losing your morals and human in you and a run-away from problems. My suggestion, go crazy for the nature. Clouds, sky, stars, mountains, greenery, raindrops, occasional rainbows, cool breezes, snow-fall... We have so much around us to feel, why would we need to go around looking for silly outdoor entertainments with our stupid excuses like "I had a breakup, lets go to a club to find me a new guy"... Come on! We got better, or say, much much better things around us we ignore on a daily basis because we're too busy being indoor and sad.

I am myself an indoor person, I confess, but nature and I have a very special connection. Being an aspiring photographer, I love taking photographs of Sunrise and Sunset. The scenery, the message and the atmosphere makes me feel completely alive! Nature, ALLAH's creation, is breath-taking. If only you open your eyes and let your soul set itself free in it because it inspires us in a way which humans and things may never be able to. 

It gives us the messages, the hidden answers in such a special style that we don't need to listen to 'em by our ears.. but hear them, feel them in our hearts. Open your hearts to nature, to true things.. that are actually 'beautiful' and Divine Blessings! 

Forget the worries, let the grief go! Fears are no good, for better lets hope! Live the beauty, enjoy the Divine Love.. Go crazy and let nature be your 'true love'.. Have a Fantastic Day and Eid Mubarak!

- Maryam

Value the ones who make an effort.. to be in your LIFE!

A week ago, something just happened to me, I went into my dad's room and simply said,"Dad, university admissions dates are going to be in December.." He said,"Ok..." 
And that's when I knew that he is waiting for me to justify, and explain what I just said. So I did. Started with a,"Have a friend there, she told me all the information" to look like my sources are reliable and my information is right. And said so many things while my mom kept smiling, as she sat there to back me up in case dad does not agree. 


After listening to me talking about some irrelevant, some convincing and some weird stuff, dad said,"Sure! Collect all the exact information about university and the accomodations, and we'll do the procedure then, InshaALLAH.." 


And I was literally like,"Did he just say that?" Because my father never wanted to send me to Pakistan, due to the conditions of the country. I didn't want him to send me to United Kingdom, because of so many reasons which I don't want to state. My brothers live there, good enough, but they are in the times of struggle themselves. And my time is more than just of struggle, its of huge decisions that really decide my whole life. So, I took a decision to apply in Islamabad, considering all the situations and surprisingly, dad agreed. 


That was one of the best days of my life. Literally, one of the best because convincing my dad for something this big is like trying to cool a burning house with only one bucket of water. Bad example, but the point is, it was one of those moment when you can't help but come back into your room and dance like there's no tomorrow. I was "Happy". 


I came back on my laptop and talked to one of my best buddies, Hala, who was one of the main reasons I got enough courage to talk to my dad. She pushed me and tolerated me for so many days while I complained about not being able to talk to dad. She told me her experiences, her own versions of courage, and struggle, and may ALLAH bless her, helped me gain a lot of strength. She increased my happiness a lot. 


Then I sent a message to one of my friends whose words really pushed me to make a better decision about my life and not just 'live with it'. Instead, make a difference about it.


Then I went into the kitchen, as my mom had went in there, hugged her and said,"Maa! That's your daughter.. YO" and my mom couldn't help but smile at her strange daughter who was crying just some hours ago due to the boredom and not being able to 'change' a thing. With me, she was happy too! 
It felt amazing. How something which seemed so small could bring such a huge difference. It felt beautiful! 


And it became one of those days that I'd never forget. And specially the people who were in it, at the moment. Hala, Amal, Mom, Aapi, bros.. Love you, guys! 


It made me think of something.
I felt that if I did not have my mom sitting there beside me, I wouldn't have been able to talk to dad, not for a second, LORD be my witness, my whole body was shivering. 
If I didn't have Hala online at the moment I left my room to went into dad's room, I wouldn't have the guts to leave my room.
If Amal hadn't shown up online right after I came back, my happiness wouldn't have increased twice as much. 
If my friend hadn't called me some hours ago, and be annoyed at my sadness, it wouldn't have been possible to consider 'doing' something about my constantly depressed mood. 
And if I didn't have ALLAH with me, then rest assured, I wouldn't be alive today writing all this. 


Value people! Value the ones who make you happy, who make you smile, who back you up no matter on how small scale they do it. Because without these people, you're a literal Nobody! If they are not with you, you'd fail to do anything. If they are not there to cheer you up when you're sad, hold you tight when you need a hug, wipe your tears when you can't stop crying, and jump with you on your success, you'd fail to learn the true meaning of Happiness and bliss. 


Value those who 'be there' for you in all the times of sadness and excitement, alike, because without these people, you won't be able to smile, ever.
Honor the people who make an effort to be in your life. Because, they are the ones worth your effort. They deserve your presence in their life, because they themselves try hard enough to make their presence matter. Give love, and you'll get love. Support the ones who are in need, and they'll support you once you need them. Jump with the ones succeeding, and they'll jump with you when you succeed. 
Wipe the tears of crying ones, and they'll wipe yours.. 


Be human, and others would be human to you! Never stop playing your role in making this world a better place, and others would make your world better than you can imagine. Be happy and make others happy! 

"Be there for each other, no matter how different you are!" 

- Maryam!

A Thousand Views...

MashaALLAH! My newly born blog, well not so new, but in context to my previous internet activities, this IS new, just passed the 1000 Views Mark :) 
Congratulations, blog. 

The above photo is a screenshot of my Blogger. 

The Admirer Of Solitude is my another blog that contains poetry, music, and is basically my way of expressing my feelings and stuff :) 

But this blog, Enjoy the gift called Life, is really close to my heart. I am able to write things that make me feel positive, and hope so, make my readers feel the same way. 

So, the top viewing countries are; 

Bahrain (Best follower)

Saudi Arabia (90% of views have to be mine, but I don't know if viewing my own blog counts)

Egypt (Mabrook!)

USA (I don't know anyone personally from there, so that's a good thing)

Pakistan (Sweet)

Syria and UK.

Thank you, all the people who, even once, logged in to my blog and gave it a read. I am honored! (Oscar speech, coming soon, YO!)

My main aim is to spread a positive thought, first for myself, then for other people. I write things which I can relate to, in a way others can too. Hope I have succeeded to make a little difference, in at least one life! 

Stay Blessed, and never ever lose hope. Life sucks today, it'd be better tomorrow, and best the day after! Just keep goin'..

FiamanALLAH!

- Maryam!

Epic Photo Of An Epic Love!

Photograph by: Billy Dodson

Gave me spine chills. The Mother's eyes are so fierce, yet she is the only comfort for her kid. She'd protect her kid from everything.. <3 

Love you, Maa! You're my courage, my one and only hope, and my FOREVER LOVE! <3 Love you, more than my life! 

- Maryam!

The Sunday Thought...

"As Long As You've Learned Something Today.. You'd Be A Better Person Tomorrow" 
- HSY (Hassan Sheheryar Yaseen) 

What Hurts Is...

"Its Not The People That Hurt! Its The Expectations Related To Them That Hurt Us.." - Hazrat Ali (May ALLAH be pleased with him) 
Love those who care about you, but be strong enough to not expect anything from them. Love yourself, more than you love anyone. 


- Maryam!

The Need Of... Change!

I love blogging. It makes me feel like whatever I have in my heart, I have a whole right to express it my way. No one to judge me, question me, or even argue. 
Being someone who is mostly unable to compromise with people, it becomes really hard to take criticism or even pieces of advice sometimes. Blame it on my indoor-lifestyle or may be because for about 5, or so, years I have lived a, sort of, lonely life. Only Maa and dad with me, no close friends (Apart from internet buddies), not much hang outs, just me, my laptop and my own versions of 'Life'.


For a lot of time in my life, being used to do things 'my way' proved helpful. But as I have grown up, and really observed things around me, sometimes, I have seen that my way was exactly the wrong way. 


Its been hectic 8-10 months for me. I had some exams that, whether made my life, or would have ruined it. My results were supposed to be out that decided my future. Yes, they pretty much were the 'live or die' sort of results and if I hadn't done well, then, lets just say, I wouldn't be on my laptop right now, having a tin of Mirinda Citrus next to me, with a teddy bear lying beside me. Yeah, my life would have been kind of screwed up if my results were bad. Please, go ahead, be creative with your thoughts, I am a girl.. whats the worst that was going to happen, YO?


Ok, now enough with your creatvity.. So, I passed!
Well, with rather good marks actually. Almost an A+. Still feels like its not happening because all my life, i have been an average student. The best I got, prior to this year, was an A.. back in 6TH grade. May be because the 'need' of studying wasn't ever there. Yes, the need of having something is basically what decides our attitude towards it. No matter how much we believe that we're passionate about something, if we don't need it, the odds of us putting an effort to get it are rather.. zero. 


I have been that kind of person, the all-the-time jolly, having fun, enjoying every moment, not giving much "damn" about what comes next. I am still the same, but the difference is, whatever I do 'in the moment', I do keep the circumstances, that might come with it, in my mind. I still enjoy the moments, but being prepared for whatever comes next. I still am jolly, but lets just say, not with everyone, and not every time. I still have fun, but only with certain people, who I actually consider 'fun' and not just a time pass or objects!


Basically, because I felt the "need" of change. Messing up, embarrassing myself constantly, because I just would not accept the fact that I need to change my attitude, my routines, my expressions, or even reactions. Most of the times because the pressure of 'doing the right thing' was absolutely ridiculous enough to ruin my sense of 'whats right and whats wrong.' The whole scenario which was created for me, "You're right, or you're wrong" confused me and eventually, got to my nerves. 


One day, I woke up early. Cleaned my room, literally changed the setting. Said my noon prayer (which I had been missing because of my bad sleeping routine). I remembered that one of my very close friends had sent me a picture of his room, and the prayer mat was lying there in his room, as if it was there 24 hours a day. It gave me an idea to keep my prayer mat, unfolded on my carpet, so whenever I look at it, it reminds me of my prayers, and this way, I wont miss them. (Thanks, close friend :D )
I cleaned my room so nicely that it made me feel alive. Opened the windows, changed the sheets, cushions, put my teddy bears on the bed, organized my gadgets, took a deep breath and said to myself, "Its time for a change.." 
(all these years, I have been a lazy person who won't care about a clean room or bad sleep or even bad health.. Gosh, I wonder how my parents really tolerated that!!)


A person who slept at 7 AM and woke up at 5 PM.. Waking up at 10 AM and sleeping at 12-01 AM was quite an achievement. I did not get a noble prize for it, sadly, but my mother came to my room that day and said,"Your room looks so fresh, I wanna sit here all day.." 
Yes, she is the same mom who tolerated my messed up routines, never asked me to wake up early (due to my migraine) and man, she really did a lot to not let me feel restless. 
My migraine was becoming worse, and nothing was helping, so, I made my own diagnosis. 
I started sleeping early, enough to keep me calm, because its not easy for me to sleep in the daylight. Started taking tea, doing early and nutritious breakfasts, taking life 'easily' and not stressing out much. Taking walks, doing Yoga, basically, giving a complete 'change' to my lifestyle. And that made me a more patient, healthy person, and if nothing more, than at least it made me someone who would take life seriously, yet enjoy it. 


And most of all, It helped me get over my past, and the way I was perceiving every thing around me. I won't say I transformed into someone else, or even compromised myself. But, when I needed to change my lifestyle, I wasn't too shy to accept it. Because things had gone so bad, that I don't even remember what mess ups I made in those 'bad days'. And well, frankly, I don't want to remember. Solely, because they are gone, and I cannot make a difference in them. But what I can, and am able to, do is change myself. Improve my personality, my judgments, my lifestyle, good enough to make me a better person, and strong enough to keep me dignified.  


Now, wonder why I am telling you all this? For one simple reason.. If I Can Do It Then.. Hy Reader... YOU CAN DO IT!
There are very minor changes we sometimes need to bring in our lives, our routines, our personalities, and these changes are the ones that make all the difference. If you are more expressive during anger, just try to not talk in that state, and half of your problems would be gone. If you feel too lonely, or broken inside, try to lie down under the stars during these cool weather days some night, and you'd realise.. Life is too beautiful to be wasted in the feeling of loneliness. If you can't find someone to talk to, make a blog, man! And you'll find a lot of people to talk to :D I found you, didn't I? :)


Life is simple, accept your mistakes, it makes things easier for you and the loved ones around you. 
Improve yourself, and don't be shy about it.
And once you do, be proud of yourself.. and like me, BRAG ABOUT IT *Cheers* (Yes, that would make you feel like you're the best thing on this planet and as if no one has ever been like you... believe me, it IS true.) No one is like you, you're your very own version! Love yourself, admire yourself!
Be dignified, not egoistic. 
Be strong, not arrogant..
Be human, not a Robot :) 
Change, when needed. It would make you feel, if not awesome, then at least better! And by the time, you'll learn to be more accepting and positive towards life. Take it easy on yourself.. Life is not something to be wasted on "OMG I am so sad" and all that teen-year dilemmas. Its beautiful, just LIVE IT!

"Happy People Dont Have Everything Best.. They Just Make 'The Best' Out Of Everything.." 

- Maryam!

The Good People!

Its been 3 days, a thought has been going through my mind. To write on a topic named as "The Good People".
I wrote about 30-50 lines in different posts, then saved  them as drafts because they just did not seem right. 
Bloggin' might seem like a very simple way of expressing one's-self. But when you see the views going from 58 to just 8, that's when you start to think,"I gotta post something new.. and decent enough".
But the best thing about blogging is; you dont take have to take dictations or orders from your editor boss! You can just go with the flow of your own inspirations and thoughts, post them, not really thinking if someone would approve it or not. Those who do, you thank them, appreciate them and well, love them! Those who don't, you take the positive criticism and "Calmly" accept, whereas the plain rude trolls and spammers are just simply ignored.


I believe, there is not much difference between Blogging and real life. I might seem like an introvert obsessed with internet and sitting infront of an LCD, but nowadays, who isn't? :)


In blogging life, people visit your address, read your posts, if they understand your language, then they take a second look as well. If they dont, they'd simply just ignore it as "just another piece of writing on just another website..." 
But then, there are people who stick to your blog. Who give it a read daily, no matter what. They take time out to visit it, comment on it, even criticize or suggest something to make it look better and improve it.  Who become your friends later, or even best friends. And become a part of your blog and life, all together.


Then, there are some silent visitors you see on the "Statistics" of your blog from different countries. Who never comment, but are always present, no matter if its 1 in the morning or 2 in the noon. They hardly ever comment or post a response, but they are your silent supporters who give you a motivation to write more and more.


Stalkers would be quite a suitable word for those people who would go around following you till they find you on facebook or on a fan page of you and write on every status you've ever posted,"Inbox me". Thats not a bad thing, because sometimes they can't help it, unless they are planning to kidnap you! 


After that, there are some people who are so charming, they want to take care of things for you, they offer you help in blogging, even 'blog-flirt' with you! The ones I sometimes want to punch in the face, but when I can't, I'll just punch my laptop or mobile and hate myself for makin' a blog. The young immature readers who see the posts as 'story of their life' and pretend to adore the blogger and tell them "they are angels on earth, blah blah" and never ever mean those big words. Gosh, I seriously dont like such members!


And those who come, go and pretend like they never existed. Yes, there are people like this. I saw a country named "Latvia" on my blog statistics, LORD be my sole witness, I did not know this country ever came into being. Well, Geography has never been my favourite class anyway. 


Coming back to the point,
I believe, same are the kind of people we find and meet in real life.
The ones, that stick to you, hold on to you no matter how bad things are. They guide you, and instead of doing things for you, they help you do them for yourself. The ones you basically look up to.


Then the ones who silently observe you, admire you or despise you, their choice. 
The stalkers, the ones who just wont let you go, no matter how badly you try to avoid them. 


The flirts, oh LORD, save me the horror. The ones who, instead of guiding you, pretend to be your saviors and say "Oh dear, i got this!" These people are mostly the reason behind us losing our focus from the really, genuinely nice people. 


And the ones you see on streets, malls, and random places, wondering what they do, think, live like, but you never get a chance to meet them. 


About that, the other night, I had a chat with my mother about having "friendships" and what kind of people we should be friends, or rather,  be close friends with.
My mother had the perfect answer,"As long as the person is your shoulder to lean on, rather than a run-away from your problems, they are your best friend." 
I, myself, have started to believe that from among all the people I mentioned above, I'd rather be with the first ones, who guide me through the life, instead of all others. 
None of us ever needs an "i'll take care of you" unless we are on bed, with both legs broken, and a hand unable to reach the our head for itching. LORD forbid, that sounds like a weird situation. 
But anyhow, the point is; In life, its easy for others to say that they'll take care of you, but once you, actually, are in darkness, its a true fact that even your own shadow leaves you. Not everytime though. Because a candle in darkness is not 'just a phrase'. There comes that one person who is going to stick with you, as your best blog reader. He would tolerate your bad posts, appreciate your good ones, prove his sincerity towards your blog, then when he starts to feel a right over it, he'll guide you on your mistakes. Help you get improve the mistakes in your posts, and make you a better blogger... Or if considered real life, then the person, or people, who make you better than what you were, are your true 'best friends". 
And that defines 'goodness' in someone, as in, how they treat you. 


Those are "The Good People". The ones who know when you need them, who know their boundaries, and limitations. Who admire you, for who you are, but want you to be more mature and a better person, not because it suits them, but because they want you to have better self esteem and confidence in yourself. 
The people who sacrifice, a lot, for your smile and happiness. 
The ones, for whom the Oxford dictionary keeps a word; Sincere. 
The beautiful people, who know your value, your respect and your honor. And instead of using you for their own good, they keep you in an honorable position in their life. 
The good people, who love you, because you are just yourself in front of them. 


In life, having someone to tell you,"I'll take care of you.." sounds beautiful. 
But having someone to hold you and say,"Look! I know you're upset, but lets see how we can make things better..." is practical implementation to those beautiful lines mentioned previously. 


The guides are better than the care-takers, solely because they make you a better person, instead of just changing your present condition or making you feel better. Because the latter ones would make you feel OK temporarily, but once you're done having a conversation with them, you're back to real, ugly life with a true nightmare waiting for you.
Whereas the former ones would help you through the hard journey, and instead of just holding your hand and sympathizing with you, they'll give you a reality check and pieces of advice to get a better result out of the given hardships.


The guides, the "Good People" are the ones we basically need in our life, instead of the "so-called care-takers" who seem temporarily charming, but are the ones we later refer to as "biggest mistake of our lives.." 


Simplifying all that I just wrote, I'll just say; its a friendly suggestion to all my blog readers, find your guides. Be it a spiritual one, a practical one, an emotional one, but dont ever look for a refuge. 
Because once that refuge is gone, you'll feel shallow and abandoned. But if, lets say, your guides depart, they'll leave you with the feeling of improvement and betterment in yourself, and you'd owe them, for the rest of your life.
Set your priorities when it comes to people. Because as the quotation goes,"Attraction is temporary, Sincerity Is Forever.."

"Being with someone who makes you a 'Better Person', has A far more beautiful outcome than being with someone who makes you 'Feel Better', temporarily. Spot the difference before you lose the sincere ones over the attractive ones."

My special, honest, real Thanks to my best friends who guide me through my mistakes, tolerate me, love me for who I am, and never let go of me. May ALLAH, The ALMIGHTY, keep you with me, forever, so that I keep becoming more mature and better in every path of life. And I hope, I can be as sincere as you, till the very end! InshaALLAH!

Really, Thank You :)

- Maryam!