I love blogging. It makes me feel like whatever I have in my heart, I have a whole right to express it my way. No one to judge me, question me, or even argue.
Being someone who is mostly unable to compromise with people, it becomes really hard to take criticism or even pieces of advice sometimes. Blame it on my indoor-lifestyle or may be because for about 5, or so, years I have lived a, sort of, lonely life. Only Maa and dad with me, no close friends (Apart from internet buddies), not much hang outs, just me, my laptop and my own versions of 'Life'.
For a lot of time in my life, being used to do things 'my way' proved helpful. But as I have grown up, and really observed things around me, sometimes, I have seen that my way was exactly the wrong way.
Its been hectic 8-10 months for me. I had some exams that, whether made my life, or would have ruined it. My results were supposed to be out that decided my future. Yes, they pretty much were the 'live or die' sort of results and if I hadn't done well, then, lets just say, I wouldn't be on my laptop right now, having a tin of Mirinda Citrus next to me, with a teddy bear lying beside me. Yeah, my life would have been kind of screwed up if my results were bad. Please, go ahead, be creative with your thoughts, I am a girl.. whats the worst that was going to happen, YO?
Ok, now enough with your creatvity.. So, I passed!
Well, with rather good marks actually. Almost an A+. Still feels like its not happening because all my life, i have been an average student. The best I got, prior to this year, was an A.. back in 6TH grade. May be because the 'need' of studying wasn't ever there. Yes, the need of having something is basically what decides our attitude towards it. No matter how much we believe that we're passionate about something, if we don't need it, the odds of us putting an effort to get it are rather.. zero.
I have been that kind of person, the all-the-time jolly, having fun, enjoying every moment, not giving much "damn" about what comes next. I am still the same, but the difference is, whatever I do 'in the moment', I do keep the circumstances, that might come with it, in my mind. I still enjoy the moments, but being prepared for whatever comes next. I still am jolly, but lets just say, not with everyone, and not every time. I still have fun, but only with certain people, who I actually consider 'fun' and not just a time pass or objects!
Basically, because I felt the "need" of change. Messing up, embarrassing myself constantly, because I just would not accept the fact that I need to change my attitude, my routines, my expressions, or even reactions. Most of the times because the pressure of 'doing the right thing' was absolutely ridiculous enough to ruin my sense of 'whats right and whats wrong.' The whole scenario which was created for me, "You're right, or you're wrong" confused me and eventually, got to my nerves.
One day, I woke up early. Cleaned my room, literally changed the setting. Said my noon prayer (which I had been missing because of my bad sleeping routine). I remembered that one of my very close friends had sent me a picture of his room, and the prayer mat was lying there in his room, as if it was there 24 hours a day. It gave me an idea to keep my prayer mat, unfolded on my carpet, so whenever I look at it, it reminds me of my prayers, and this way, I wont miss them. (Thanks, close friend :D )
I cleaned my room so nicely that it made me feel alive. Opened the windows, changed the sheets, cushions, put my teddy bears on the bed, organized my gadgets, took a deep breath and said to myself, "Its time for a change.."
(all these years, I have been a lazy person who won't care about a clean room or bad sleep or even bad health.. Gosh, I wonder how my parents really tolerated that!!)
A person who slept at 7 AM and woke up at 5 PM.. Waking up at 10 AM and sleeping at 12-01 AM was quite an achievement. I did not get a noble prize for it, sadly, but my mother came to my room that day and said,"Your room looks so fresh, I wanna sit here all day.."
Yes, she is the same mom who tolerated my messed up routines, never asked me to wake up early (due to my migraine) and man, she really did a lot to not let me feel restless.
My migraine was becoming worse, and nothing was helping, so, I made my own diagnosis.
I started sleeping early, enough to keep me calm, because its not easy for me to sleep in the daylight. Started taking tea, doing early and nutritious breakfasts, taking life 'easily' and not stressing out much. Taking walks, doing Yoga, basically, giving a complete 'change' to my lifestyle. And that made me a more patient, healthy person, and if nothing more, than at least it made me someone who would take life seriously, yet enjoy it.
And most of all, It helped me get over my past, and the way I was perceiving every thing around me. I won't say I transformed into someone else, or even compromised myself. But, when I needed to change my lifestyle, I wasn't too shy to accept it. Because things had gone so bad, that I don't even remember what mess ups I made in those 'bad days'. And well, frankly, I don't want to remember. Solely, because they are gone, and I cannot make a difference in them. But what I can, and am able to, do is change myself. Improve my personality, my judgments, my lifestyle, good enough to make me a better person, and strong enough to keep me dignified.
Now, wonder why I am telling you all this? For one simple reason.. If I Can Do It Then.. Hy Reader... YOU CAN DO IT!
There are very minor changes we sometimes need to bring in our lives, our routines, our personalities, and these changes are the ones that make all the difference. If you are more expressive during anger, just try to not talk in that state, and half of your problems would be gone. If you feel too lonely, or broken inside, try to lie down under the stars during these cool weather days some night, and you'd realise.. Life is too beautiful to be wasted in the feeling of loneliness. If you can't find someone to talk to, make a blog, man! And you'll find a lot of people to talk to :D I found you, didn't I? :)
Life is simple, accept your mistakes, it makes things easier for you and the loved ones around you.
Improve yourself, and don't be shy about it.
And once you do, be proud of yourself.. and like me, BRAG ABOUT IT *Cheers* (Yes, that would make you feel like you're the best thing on this planet and as if no one has ever been like you... believe me, it IS true.) No one is like you, you're your very own version! Love yourself, admire yourself!
Be dignified, not egoistic.
Be strong, not arrogant..
Be human, not a Robot :)
Change, when needed. It would make you feel, if not awesome, then at least better! And by the time, you'll learn to be more accepting and positive towards life. Take it easy on yourself.. Life is not something to be wasted on "OMG I am so sad" and all that teen-year dilemmas. Its beautiful, just LIVE IT!
Being someone who is mostly unable to compromise with people, it becomes really hard to take criticism or even pieces of advice sometimes. Blame it on my indoor-lifestyle or may be because for about 5, or so, years I have lived a, sort of, lonely life. Only Maa and dad with me, no close friends (Apart from internet buddies), not much hang outs, just me, my laptop and my own versions of 'Life'.
For a lot of time in my life, being used to do things 'my way' proved helpful. But as I have grown up, and really observed things around me, sometimes, I have seen that my way was exactly the wrong way.
Its been hectic 8-10 months for me. I had some exams that, whether made my life, or would have ruined it. My results were supposed to be out that decided my future. Yes, they pretty much were the 'live or die' sort of results and if I hadn't done well, then, lets just say, I wouldn't be on my laptop right now, having a tin of Mirinda Citrus next to me, with a teddy bear lying beside me. Yeah, my life would have been kind of screwed up if my results were bad. Please, go ahead, be creative with your thoughts, I am a girl.. whats the worst that was going to happen, YO?
Ok, now enough with your creatvity.. So, I passed!
Well, with rather good marks actually. Almost an A+. Still feels like its not happening because all my life, i have been an average student. The best I got, prior to this year, was an A.. back in 6TH grade. May be because the 'need' of studying wasn't ever there. Yes, the need of having something is basically what decides our attitude towards it. No matter how much we believe that we're passionate about something, if we don't need it, the odds of us putting an effort to get it are rather.. zero.
I have been that kind of person, the all-the-time jolly, having fun, enjoying every moment, not giving much "damn" about what comes next. I am still the same, but the difference is, whatever I do 'in the moment', I do keep the circumstances, that might come with it, in my mind. I still enjoy the moments, but being prepared for whatever comes next. I still am jolly, but lets just say, not with everyone, and not every time. I still have fun, but only with certain people, who I actually consider 'fun' and not just a time pass or objects!
Basically, because I felt the "need" of change. Messing up, embarrassing myself constantly, because I just would not accept the fact that I need to change my attitude, my routines, my expressions, or even reactions. Most of the times because the pressure of 'doing the right thing' was absolutely ridiculous enough to ruin my sense of 'whats right and whats wrong.' The whole scenario which was created for me, "You're right, or you're wrong" confused me and eventually, got to my nerves.
One day, I woke up early. Cleaned my room, literally changed the setting. Said my noon prayer (which I had been missing because of my bad sleeping routine). I remembered that one of my very close friends had sent me a picture of his room, and the prayer mat was lying there in his room, as if it was there 24 hours a day. It gave me an idea to keep my prayer mat, unfolded on my carpet, so whenever I look at it, it reminds me of my prayers, and this way, I wont miss them. (Thanks, close friend :D )
I cleaned my room so nicely that it made me feel alive. Opened the windows, changed the sheets, cushions, put my teddy bears on the bed, organized my gadgets, took a deep breath and said to myself, "Its time for a change.."
(all these years, I have been a lazy person who won't care about a clean room or bad sleep or even bad health.. Gosh, I wonder how my parents really tolerated that!!)
A person who slept at 7 AM and woke up at 5 PM.. Waking up at 10 AM and sleeping at 12-01 AM was quite an achievement. I did not get a noble prize for it, sadly, but my mother came to my room that day and said,"Your room looks so fresh, I wanna sit here all day.."
Yes, she is the same mom who tolerated my messed up routines, never asked me to wake up early (due to my migraine) and man, she really did a lot to not let me feel restless.
My migraine was becoming worse, and nothing was helping, so, I made my own diagnosis.
I started sleeping early, enough to keep me calm, because its not easy for me to sleep in the daylight. Started taking tea, doing early and nutritious breakfasts, taking life 'easily' and not stressing out much. Taking walks, doing Yoga, basically, giving a complete 'change' to my lifestyle. And that made me a more patient, healthy person, and if nothing more, than at least it made me someone who would take life seriously, yet enjoy it.
And most of all, It helped me get over my past, and the way I was perceiving every thing around me. I won't say I transformed into someone else, or even compromised myself. But, when I needed to change my lifestyle, I wasn't too shy to accept it. Because things had gone so bad, that I don't even remember what mess ups I made in those 'bad days'. And well, frankly, I don't want to remember. Solely, because they are gone, and I cannot make a difference in them. But what I can, and am able to, do is change myself. Improve my personality, my judgments, my lifestyle, good enough to make me a better person, and strong enough to keep me dignified.
Now, wonder why I am telling you all this? For one simple reason.. If I Can Do It Then.. Hy Reader... YOU CAN DO IT!
There are very minor changes we sometimes need to bring in our lives, our routines, our personalities, and these changes are the ones that make all the difference. If you are more expressive during anger, just try to not talk in that state, and half of your problems would be gone. If you feel too lonely, or broken inside, try to lie down under the stars during these cool weather days some night, and you'd realise.. Life is too beautiful to be wasted in the feeling of loneliness. If you can't find someone to talk to, make a blog, man! And you'll find a lot of people to talk to :D I found you, didn't I? :)
Life is simple, accept your mistakes, it makes things easier for you and the loved ones around you.
Improve yourself, and don't be shy about it.
And once you do, be proud of yourself.. and like me, BRAG ABOUT IT *Cheers* (Yes, that would make you feel like you're the best thing on this planet and as if no one has ever been like you... believe me, it IS true.) No one is like you, you're your very own version! Love yourself, admire yourself!
Be dignified, not egoistic.
Be strong, not arrogant..
Be human, not a Robot :)
Change, when needed. It would make you feel, if not awesome, then at least better! And by the time, you'll learn to be more accepting and positive towards life. Take it easy on yourself.. Life is not something to be wasted on "OMG I am so sad" and all that teen-year dilemmas. Its beautiful, just LIVE IT!
"Happy People Dont Have Everything Best.. They Just Make 'The Best' Out Of Everything.."
- Maryam!
thank u, Maryam very, very much for sharing this with us and yes "I found u !" ;)
ReplyDeletethat post made me wanna know u more, so, please don't stop blogging ..and i wonder if u have a facebook or google+ ?!
9B
Most welcome. I am glad you liked the post, brother :)
ReplyDeleteActually, I just use facebook for some fan pages I run, and for family/friends interaction. Dont add much people in that :)
You can join this page, its related to the blog basically :)
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Everything-Will-Be-Fine-Trust-Me-/112179718809136 Thats my page, related to the blog.
Keep visiting, bro!
FiamanALLAH!