... lets hold-on, to each other, forever - not happily ever after!

Relationships without fights are that one thing the world is yet to witness. Titanic sank, 9/11 happened, Iraq got invaded, African kids are still dying, America has a black president, OBL died, but well, we are still waiting for that one person with whom we would have the fairy-tale-love-story and a happily ever after! Oh well, this is life, and it sucks, doesn't it? 


Frankly speaking, I never believed in Happy endings. Because if its an end, how can it be happy? See, logic talks. But the Disney world and the ideas that are built up in our minds as kids or, more precisely, as teenagers, really don't give us much options. We are supposed to believe, specially the girl-gender, that there exists a prince charming, he comes with a white horse, wearing a white suit, holding a red rose, kneels down, asks the girl for her hand, marries her and they live happily ever after. Are you kidding me? 


Irony of these stories is, they never tell you what happened afterwards. They just give that 'one moment' of happiness and let you believe that the rest went well. All right, that one beautiful moment happened, everything was perfect, she was happy, he was blessed. But did it work out in between them for the next 20 years?


Unbelievable are the people who are too busy thinking about themselves and how badly they want a perfect relationship, while they don't realise is, if anything was meant to be perfect, why would words like Improvement, compromise and holding on exist? Specially, when its about a relationship between a man and a woman. If it were supposed to be so awesome and so feel-good, then why would, lets say, counselling be there? Why would Yahoo! keep giving you relationship advice every other day on their home page? Why would rules of dating/relationship/marriage be there in the first place? Solely, because nothing is meant to be perfect. 


People mess up. We all do. Sometimes, we mess up so bad, that its hard to even think about it. Doing something is out of question, a lot of times. I don't happen to be some love guru, but my honourable parents have been married for 28 years, MashaALLAH. And I am an eye witness to mess ups... but thats what makes a bond more fascinating, and truly names it as 'A Relationship'.


I have seen them fight, yell at each other, hate each other, but LORD be my witness, They held on to each other, like no one. And that is what Love, relationship and compromise are all about. My dad was the only person who could handle maa when my maternal grandmaa passed away (May her soul rest in peace). Maa, being extremely close to 'naani maa' (grandmaa), was massively shocked. And none of us, the kids, could see her in this state. Even my eldest brother, who was the closest to maa, couldn't take that shock off of her. Because obviously, at that time, you dont need your little boy telling you that he is upset because you're upset. And certainly, without a doubt, the last thing you would need is a prince charming. What a woman really demands for is, A Man! Who would make her strong enough to face each and every challenge that comes in her way, and would not walk away. So basically, the whole concept of prince charming fails when real life approaches. 


In real life, a man needs a woman on whom he can rely. Who can take care of herself, him, his family, his home, his finances... basically, his life! 
In real life, a woman needs a man whom she can trust, with her life, with her kids, with her dignity, as simple as that. 


Basically, in real life, fights happen. Mess ups happen. But you hold on to the one you actually, literally, love. If you take a break, you come back as a better, more sincere, more committed person. Realizing the importance of the love of your life, you do not give up on each other. There has been no man and woman together who never fought. Its just that; some couples resolve issues better than the others. Some take the responsibility, the blame over the mess up, and let the other person take his anger out. And end up apologising, and moving on with their lives. They never walk away, because if cowardly attitude was the option, the right one, then oh well, we get to witness divorces, breakups, depressed people with a weird attitude called a 'heart-break'. But if only one person among us realizes the value of compromise, communication and of course, holding on, then the world would be a less depressed, more happy place to live in! 

If I said, I'll hold on, that simply meant: forever. Not the fairy-tale one, but the real life one, when our kids are married, living in other states, we're old, can barely walk, one of us cannot even talk... But still, can hold each others' hands.. and believe that after all the fights, mess ups, fears, losses.. we're still together! And thats all, that matters.