As salam o alaikum readers..
I know, I know exactly what you're thinking... "She said she's leaving, but here she is.. posting again"
Well, Yes! I did say I was leaving for a while, but my plan to leave for Pakistan has been delayed due to a Visa glitch. I have, apparently, one more week.. And in that one week, I look at my blog and think, why not post something? Cool, no?
I remember, about two or three months ago, I had some personal issues and wanted to quit blogging. I posted a note saying that I am quitting and i 'might' be back.. Well, I did come back. I guess, may be after a day or two. Quitting was harder than I expected, coming back felt as easy as singing the ABC song. What really brought me back were the "views" of my blog.. People visit this website, spend their precious 5 minutes to read what I write, and that's an honor in itself. I feel blessed to be able to express my views, my opinions through a platform that may not seem real significant to many people, but it does to me. Honestly, blog and internet play a very important role in my life. My family is not much social, nor am I. But the need of interacting is always there. So to fulfill that need, I find this medium, also known as internet world, really helpful.
For so many days, I stopped using Facebook, blog, didn't check my email, didn't log into messenger. And I don't want to sound like a drama queen, but I haven't had quite beautiful days this month. Specially because the days of leaving are coming nearer by the second. It is, LORD be my witness, one step which I have taken with all determination, but the fear of failing is constantly bugging me. I underestimate myself, a lot, mostly because I have had my set of huge, and I say HUGE with capital letters, mistakes and failures. There were times when just letting go of life seemed like the right option. I never tried that though because honestly, you need a lot of courage to hurt yourself physically... more than I thought. The people who have the courage to cut their wrist or drink acid are, really, truly misguided. If only they used that courage to achieve their goals..
Anyways, I sort of came back to internet life. Lots and lots of unreplied wall posts, messages, emails.. Oh right, I just remembered one email is still left to be replied to.. Hmmm!
Friends are that part of your life which you may not value when they are present, but you definately miss them when they're gone... I came back for them! And it felt really beautiful! When someone asks you,"Where have you been? I missed you.. or missed talking to you.." Someone, out there, values your existence, values your presence! It's that one feeling which does not have a substitute.
I have failed a lot of times in my life. Both emotionally and practically. And WALLAHI I am not proud of those failures. But did I give up? Did I quit? Did I stop trying just because of some temporary gaps? My answer is a big proud honest NO! I have managed to come so far... Why should I possibly walk away now? I am 'this' far in getting what I always dreamed for, so why should I back off now?
My blog is one of those dreams I always had.. Reaching out to people.. In all different time zones, places I've never been to and might not even visit (Who knew Latvia was a country? I didn't).. People recognizing the blog, my other blog The Admirer Of Solitude! and SubhanALLAH, today I got 100 Views for the day of 29 November 2011, on the poetry blog.. Why back off now? Why leave now? That would be an insult to myself, and a let down to those who actually view this page.
There are two things in my life I never want to give up on. My dreams, and the people I love.. Former is easy because it only concerns me and what I do with it... Latter is the harder one, because what if those people want to give up on me? What if they 'walk away' without even letting me know the reason behind it? What if they forget that I even exist.. Then there's always a hope, that at least once, I made them smile. Once, I was the reason they were happy... Once, I was the reason they thought life is beautiful!
So, fans, readers, followers, Maryam 'Mano' Ahmad would never give up on blogging.. Even if she has to pay to write! And a message to all those who think quitting is the easy way.. Then let me tell you something! Once you quit, you feel free. But what don't know is, you're missing out on life's biggest most beautiful blessing it has to offer; LEARNING EXPERIENCE! Yes, if you don't try, if you don't go on that road, you'd never know what lies ahead, and how blessed you can be if you continue to walk ahead, instead of walking away. Once you've started something, being a man enough to continue it, takes guts.. And everyone has them! Some people just are not aware of their capabilities, their strengths and their powers. Be strong, and be courageous! Cowards don't end up with anything; no smiles, no happiness, no results. Be powerful enough to own your life, and confident enough to show it.
Because, eventually, it's about you... Once you die, ALLAH would question you for your deeds, not for what Tom Dick or Harry did. ALLAH would ask you,"Did you give up?" And the answer,"He/She asked me to.." would not be accepted!
Be loving, be respecting, be strong... and be courageous! When you're 'this' close to reaching and achieving your dream, walking away shouldn't even be an option!
I love my readers, truly.. Thank you, for the support and views. May ALLAH bless each one of you with happiness and courage, ameen.
I know, I know exactly what you're thinking... "She said she's leaving, but here she is.. posting again"
Well, Yes! I did say I was leaving for a while, but my plan to leave for Pakistan has been delayed due to a Visa glitch. I have, apparently, one more week.. And in that one week, I look at my blog and think, why not post something? Cool, no?
I remember, about two or three months ago, I had some personal issues and wanted to quit blogging. I posted a note saying that I am quitting and i 'might' be back.. Well, I did come back. I guess, may be after a day or two. Quitting was harder than I expected, coming back felt as easy as singing the ABC song. What really brought me back were the "views" of my blog.. People visit this website, spend their precious 5 minutes to read what I write, and that's an honor in itself. I feel blessed to be able to express my views, my opinions through a platform that may not seem real significant to many people, but it does to me. Honestly, blog and internet play a very important role in my life. My family is not much social, nor am I. But the need of interacting is always there. So to fulfill that need, I find this medium, also known as internet world, really helpful.
For so many days, I stopped using Facebook, blog, didn't check my email, didn't log into messenger. And I don't want to sound like a drama queen, but I haven't had quite beautiful days this month. Specially because the days of leaving are coming nearer by the second. It is, LORD be my witness, one step which I have taken with all determination, but the fear of failing is constantly bugging me. I underestimate myself, a lot, mostly because I have had my set of huge, and I say HUGE with capital letters, mistakes and failures. There were times when just letting go of life seemed like the right option. I never tried that though because honestly, you need a lot of courage to hurt yourself physically... more than I thought. The people who have the courage to cut their wrist or drink acid are, really, truly misguided. If only they used that courage to achieve their goals..
Anyways, I sort of came back to internet life. Lots and lots of unreplied wall posts, messages, emails.. Oh right, I just remembered one email is still left to be replied to.. Hmmm!
Friends are that part of your life which you may not value when they are present, but you definately miss them when they're gone... I came back for them! And it felt really beautiful! When someone asks you,"Where have you been? I missed you.. or missed talking to you.." Someone, out there, values your existence, values your presence! It's that one feeling which does not have a substitute.
I have failed a lot of times in my life. Both emotionally and practically. And WALLAHI I am not proud of those failures. But did I give up? Did I quit? Did I stop trying just because of some temporary gaps? My answer is a big proud honest NO! I have managed to come so far... Why should I possibly walk away now? I am 'this' far in getting what I always dreamed for, so why should I back off now?
My blog is one of those dreams I always had.. Reaching out to people.. In all different time zones, places I've never been to and might not even visit (Who knew Latvia was a country? I didn't).. People recognizing the blog, my other blog The Admirer Of Solitude! and SubhanALLAH, today I got 100 Views for the day of 29 November 2011, on the poetry blog.. Why back off now? Why leave now? That would be an insult to myself, and a let down to those who actually view this page.
There are two things in my life I never want to give up on. My dreams, and the people I love.. Former is easy because it only concerns me and what I do with it... Latter is the harder one, because what if those people want to give up on me? What if they 'walk away' without even letting me know the reason behind it? What if they forget that I even exist.. Then there's always a hope, that at least once, I made them smile. Once, I was the reason they were happy... Once, I was the reason they thought life is beautiful!
So, fans, readers, followers, Maryam 'Mano' Ahmad would never give up on blogging.. Even if she has to pay to write! And a message to all those who think quitting is the easy way.. Then let me tell you something! Once you quit, you feel free. But what don't know is, you're missing out on life's biggest most beautiful blessing it has to offer; LEARNING EXPERIENCE! Yes, if you don't try, if you don't go on that road, you'd never know what lies ahead, and how blessed you can be if you continue to walk ahead, instead of walking away. Once you've started something, being a man enough to continue it, takes guts.. And everyone has them! Some people just are not aware of their capabilities, their strengths and their powers. Be strong, and be courageous! Cowards don't end up with anything; no smiles, no happiness, no results. Be powerful enough to own your life, and confident enough to show it.
Because, eventually, it's about you... Once you die, ALLAH would question you for your deeds, not for what Tom Dick or Harry did. ALLAH would ask you,"Did you give up?" And the answer,"He/She asked me to.." would not be accepted!
Be loving, be respecting, be strong... and be courageous! When you're 'this' close to reaching and achieving your dream, walking away shouldn't even be an option!
I love my readers, truly.. Thank you, for the support and views. May ALLAH bless each one of you with happiness and courage, ameen.
Love,
- Maryam!
