Let it be your reminder!

You know what you need? A spark. Anything to light up that fire of passion inside you. You need that one moment, one person, even just a little hint that would give you a direction that leads to your destination. If it's a crush that helps you become a better version of yourself, then by all means have that crush. Crush so hard that even your crush falls in love with that 'best version of you'. 
You know, that's where we all mess up. We try too hard to fit in someone else's fantasy, that we forget our own reality. So what you need right now is a reminder that getting up on your feet, from your bed, and making this day better is what you need right now. 
Take risks. Write songs. Paint abstract art. Type horrible stories. Save a life. Help a stranger. Make a baby laugh. Assist a young mother with chores. Help a father decide which school he should send his kids too. Let your mother rest another hour. Clean your father's car. Listen to your siblings' problems. Take a hike on that mountain. Water those flowers on your way home. Feed that cat, pet that dog, just do it! Stop waiting for that miracle to happen. Let it be your reminder, this article, that every single deed you do, every single step you take, makes you a better person. Don't be scared. Don't wait for a miracle. Try and be one, yourself!
Tonight, make life easy for someone else, and see how it changes your whole life. 

- Maryam

Tonight, just be thankful!

It's not easy, you know, to fill the void left by people who leave you without giving you any closure. Happy or not, we all deserve an 'ending' to our story. But what happens when the story just ends without an ending? It's like, you were on a journey, you had your destination right in front of you, and suddenly, your car just stops there. You cannot go any further than that, you cannot go back, so all you can do is wait... wait for some help to arrive. You are looking at the engine of your car, wondering what could go wrong? The fuel is okay, you recently got an oil change, there aren't too many miles on your car, it's a decent model. What happened? You're just standing there, while your car has left you hopeless. I am not saying humans could be compared to machinery, but I swear to GOD, humans aren't any less unpredictable. They change with the speed of light, or even faster. They are always in the search of "better". Once their need if fulfilled, they'd want something else. Humans are strange. Their very definition of loyalty is an "animal". What can you expect, really, except for the fact that people change. They change for the good, bad or just for the sake of it. Most humans don't even make their decisions for the sake of humanity, or the Divine. Their decisions are selfish, self-centered, complicated, and sometimes horrendous. Does it justify people leaving other people? Of course not. No matter how hard you beg, how many nights you pray, how often you cry shouting their name, they just don't come back. It's difficult. It's ridiculous. But it's the truth. People leave. It's the absolute reality. 

The only closure you can give yourself is, "this is how it was meant to be". 

Up there, in the heavens, or the seven skies, somewhere, there is a book. In that book, your life story is written by the best of all writers, the CREATOR himself. HE is The Most Merciful. HE is THE ONE and ONLY, deserving of all worship. The pens are withdrawn, the pages of that book are dry, it's all written up there. Whoever leaves a gap inside you unfairly, would pay for it eventually. Whoever is meant to fulfill that gap, would come to you at a time, when you'll be able to give that person your 100%. When you'd have moved on so well, that your mind, heart and body would synchronize for the sake of happiness and love. You wouldn't have regrets, or thoughts about your past. It's okay to be on a verge of giving up sometimes because the loneliness is killing you and you see every single person finding their soul mate. But have you ever thought that the ONE who loves you seventy times more than a mother could give you any less? HE, the ONE who has authority over the whole universe, would be unfair to you? Of course not. As much as those who have been blessed today are HIS creation, you are too. HE is just testing you today to bless you with the best, tomorrow (Insha ALLAH!)

Tonight, just give your gloom an ending. Give yourself hope, encourage yourself to move ahead without ever giving any heed to your past. Tonight, just tell yourself, you'll be blessed with better than what has been taken away from you. Tonight, give yourself a chance. Tonight, tell ALLAH that you're thankful, you feel blessed and content. Tonight, thank HIM for letting you stay strong, no matter how many times you were about to give up. Tonight, thank HIM for not letting you send that "message" or make that phone call which could have destroyed all your effort. Tonight, thank HIM for not letting your greed or need take over you. Tonight, just thank HIM for being alive and in the best possible manner. 

Tonight, just be thankful for everything. 

May ALLAH be with us all. 

- Maryam 

Getting my answers!

Today, these statements are going through my mind, "Haan Bolo. Na Kaho. Dekho Mat. Suno Mat. Kaho Mat. Tum ho kaun? Log kia kahain ge? Tum ne soch bhi kaise lia? Waqt Thori Hai In Baaton Ka! Aise Kaise chalay ga? Dil? Har Insaan Dil Maarta hai, Tum Bhi Maaro! Ruh? Ruh Sirf Maut K Din Niklay Gi! Jazba? Jao Apna Kaam Karo, Jazba Aur Ye Sab Kahaanion Main Hota hai. Imaan Dagmaga Raha Hai Tumhara! Tumhen Khuda Se Rujoo Karnay Ki Zarurat Hai! Andar Ki Aag Ko Bujhaao Aur Baaki Logon Ki Tarha Ban Jaao! Ordinary.... just ordinary! "

It's like, we come from this nation that forces its girls, its people to be dead souls. If you're doing something that makes you happy, you automatically become a selfish son of a *****. Any person in the pursuit of their happiness is told that they are astray and they need religious guidance. Anyone looking for a path and talking about it is told that "you're in depression and you have absolutely no right to question the path you're on."
I remember, there was a seminar in my university about 2 years ago; I asked the speaker so many questions that he ended up telling my professor that this student of yours has an X Factor and its her curiosity. He told me to "feed it well". Since then, I am looking for answers. Why do we live under so much compromises? Why do we have to kill our self esteems to make other people happy? Why do we need to break our hearts to mend others'? Why can't we do anything just for the pursuit of happiness?
Today; I got my answer looking in the eyes of someone very close to me.
We are women; Pakistani women and we do nothing for our happiness, we just make sure others are happy with us, because that's what we are here for!

Weird Post!

It's one of those times when you stay awake all night finding refuge in that one thing which distracts you from your problems; be it love, a partner, TV, music or anything. For me, it's watching Grey's anatomy, for now. I have got tons of issues on my head right now. I am 23, studying, and jobless for crying out loud. I should be stable enough to pay my dues, pay for my vacation, pay for my holiday trips for GOD's sake. But I am not. Why is that? Because the last time I got a job offer, my interview was the same day my mother called me back home so I could see the girl she had chosen to be my brother's wife. Yes, I do have that big of a say in my family. Second time, I was told by somebody that the place I got an offer from wasn't worth working for. I didn't even go to the interview. I could work online as well - but that's just not my thing. I am sick and tired of having online interactions. That's what I have done for the past 6 years. Online Interactions! They don't work for me anymore. I need real people in my real life. See, this is why I love my best friends from university. They are real. They exist. They eat, hang out, fight, argue, laugh with me in real life. I can see their faces, their expressions, the shine in their eyes. This is why I don't need an online job; where my client can't look me in the eye and shout at me. I can't be appreciated for real online. Telling me I did a good job over an email is not good enough for me. I want proper relationships. Proper friendships. I know I am writing this over an online blog, but seriously who would read it? How many people would read it? Even I know this blog is mostly me taking out my anger, frustration or lessons learnt. I want to write for so many things, so many issues, but everytime this thought comes into my head that I am not good enough for it - or let's just say, for anything! My brother did get married to the same girl. Masha ALLAH they are a happy couple, and seem to be working this out really well. I feel proud of myself sometimes. Eventhough I don't have a job, I do other things well. I help my mother with a lot of stuff, and just recently, she called me her "Engineer kid" infront of a whole lot of people. That was amazing. She actually told them I was her amazing child, which she hardly does because they were the family where my sister could have got married. Praising me in front of them, well, not a good idea. They could just chose me - not that I would let it happen, because the guy was an absolute idiot. He was an MBA for GOD's sake, a JOBLESS MBA!
Yes - That's the point. Judging a MAN over his job makes sense. But judging a girl? No! It doesn't make any sense. The girl does a lot of other things as well. She cooks for you, she cleans for you, she calms you down when you're angry. She gives birth to your children, for GOD's sake! She takes care of your home. How can you possibly judge her for not earning some stupid money? How can you judge her for her personality? Her traits? It's her quality to sort things out, why would ever want to take that away from her?

Just don't take away a girl's charms, or else, you'd have her divided in to the craziest thoughts, the worst assumptions and most of all, a blog full of weird posts!
Please, LEARN!

- Maryam!